Session 35

First Live Show Energy - Session 35

• Crystal

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The energy hits before the mics settle. We’re live, a little nervous, and completely ready to say the quiet parts out loud: how long do you stand by a partner who falls off financially, and what does “trying” actually look like when bills are due? The first debate stretches from six-month shot clocks to no deadlines at all, but lands on something simple and uncomfortable—character shows up in the grind, not the promise. If you can take any job while you rebuild, your partner can carry faith a lot longer.

From there, we widen the lens and ask what we need to relearn as a community. Respect. Real conversations. Dating with intent. Keeping kids close past 18. Accountability. The audience brings heat and heart, reminding us to read for ourselves, bring back standards, and stop acting like support is a luxury. We talk self-forgiveness and the hard art of letting go—of old stories, of roles that don’t fit, of people who won’t meet us halfway. Self-love isn’t a meme; it’s a boundary you keep when it hurts.

Then we challenge a habit most of us have picked up: praising celebrities while ignoring our own. Algorithms reward spectacle, but communities grow when we show up in rooms like this, buy the ticket, share the link, and clap loud for friends. We close with the questions everyone is asking: why aren’t we marrying, and why don’t we stay? The answers aren’t tidy. Time changed, expectations shifted, and too many of us skipped the personal work that partnership demands. Marriage can still be worth it—if two whole people bring standards, discipline, and a plan they can hold when life gets heavy.

By the end, the room feels lighter. Not because problems disappeared, but because people told the truth. We leave you with this: invest in your person the way you want someone to invest in you. Support your own. Do the work on yourself first. And if this conversation moved you, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and drop a review so others can find their way to the room.

SPEAKER_08:

Y'all know what y'all are here for. I need everybody to clap your hands right now. Even my brothers. My brothers in this bitch, like I ain't talking to you niggas. Clap your hands too. All right, dog. Here we go, dog. Y'all know what we're here for, man. This is the first live podcast. Make some noise for that. That's not right, dog. I'm not calling these people up to that type of energy, dog. I appreciate y'all support already, but we're about to show some love. Fuck support, dog. This is the time to really show these people love for what they've been doing, man. Everybody put your hands together right now. I like it. All right, all right, all right, all right. I think we're there. I think we're there, dog. Y'all know when you deal with these six people, dog, they be so specific in what they want you to do. So I'm gonna read this bitch exactly how they want me to do it before I get fired on my off day. Like these niggas, I'ma heckle the out of them because that's where to god I'm sick of these niggas. I be commenting, I be liking and sharing this shit. They don't never read my shit either. Y'all gonna hear me today, though. And we got the fellas in this bitch, too. So it's like, yeah, what was your when I was on the show? It was just me and that bitch. They act like all women was good, like not my baby mama, like every bitch except for her. You feel me? All right, man. I need the energy high. I want y'all to clap your hands. If y'all want to shout out, that's cold to me. So show these people some love. I'm introducing them one by one. Don't let the energy go down until I get done with everybody that's about to come up here. Y'all good. Say all right if we good. I like it. Come to the stage first, Brendan. Make some noise. Come on, man. Keep that shit going till we get up here. Come on, man. Damn, you wanna walk down this bitch like a wrestler. Come on. You doing the intro? What you doing? All right, which where you don't see that? Find a seat, sir. Turn his shit. You at the wrong seat. God damn, I thought I was gonna fuck up.

SPEAKER_11:

Can y'all hear me? All right, all right. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for the love. Appreciate y'all for being in attendance. We're about to get the show started. Mom wouldn't, I'm not sure if y'all were introduced to me at the beginning, but I'm one of the hosts. Got a small business. I turn vacant houses into rental properties for out of state investors. I rap, podcast, barber, one stop shop. You know, you can follow me. Make some noise for the scammers. No, I was just a jack of all trades, but you know, I'll get y'all my social media at the end of the show. Hopefully, y'all enjoy, and I appreciate y'all again coming out tonight.

SPEAKER_08:

Keep that same energy, y'all. Keep that same energy. I'm introducing next Lake. Make some noise, y'all. So I'm talking about. Yeah, welcome, welcome. Oh, you want me to keep going? No, you got on corduroy. So I want to say something. Whatever. Oh, you already been there. I'm gonna keep going. I didn't know you was gonna grab your old mic. You grabbed that bitch quick. Like, yeah, I want those boats, dog. Keep that and keep your hands going, dog. This about be quick. We walking it down. Coming up next. It's see your wife. I mean, Jim, make sure that's for gin, y'all. Yo, sister law. Come on. Cover them up for me, y'all. This is my people's. Hell yeah. And I took her mic, she's about to be mad as fuck. Listen, I'm sorry. I'm gonna give it to you. You want to say something right now?

SPEAKER_03:

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_08:

You sure? Positive. Inquiry reminds one of no. You sure? Positive. All right. You be vocal as fuck online. You gotta wait on me to get down. As soon as you take this mic, she'll be like, fuck you! All right, uh, y'all ready for y'all next host? No, I need to interview how we are here for this. This is our time, y'all. This is our time coming next. It's crystal. Make some nice. Yeah. Yeah. She took up from me until I started talking. She was like, all right. It's a little too much. I don't know where the niggas was, but y'all left me to get jumped, dog. They fucked me up on that shit. I blocked it from my page. Like, nigga, this is bullshit, but y'all ready? No, I mean, I don't know why y'all ever stopped clapping, dog. The next person is probably gonna get mad because I keep accidentally fucking the name up. Y'all like you better not. Like, yeah, you're right. Put your hands together right now. Victor. Yeah, come on now. Oh, we letting you. We living here. No, y'all don't get it. We a live podcast. They need to hear y'all. They can't see y'all. They need to hear y'all. That's fire, man. I appreciate y'all. Coming up last, man, to this panel. It's Dante. Come on. It's the East Side, ain't it? Come on, keep coming until you get up here, man. They need to hear y'all. Yeah, all right, man. Hey, to everybody here, I appreciate y'all for coming, man. To the panelman, I appreciate y'all for having me. If y'all ever need me for anything, let me know. But I'm not coming back on the pod unless it's one of these niggas there. Y'all not doing me like this. All right, y'all.

SPEAKER_07:

Chris. Okay, it's fine.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank you. Dang it. I'm just joking. All right, y'all. Hey everybody. What up though?

SPEAKER_05:

What's up?

SPEAKER_03:

Welcome to Session 35 Podcast. Yo, yo, yo, go, go, go, go. So if you already can't see the nerves, they there. So excuse me from reading from these nerve cards, y'all. Just a little bit. So tonight is just a little different. So if you're listening in, we are actually hosting an in-person session tonight. So you may not hear our guests if they try to engage, but they're here. So I just want to thank y'all for being here tonight for us on our very first session. Yes. Yes. So how tonight is gonna go? We all have one topic that we want to address. So our time is limited. So uh let's just get to it. I don't have to introduce them, they already introduced themselves. Well, thanks, Sean. So we just gonna hop right on into it. I hope y'all remember y'all's topics. I yelled at y'all enough for that, Brandon. I'm first damn you first.

SPEAKER_11:

I got to gonna get my okay.

unknown:

My bad.

SPEAKER_11:

Time tired. So my topic is how long should you wait before you explore your wait? If your mate is to fall off, how long should you wait before you start exploring your options or going back to the drawing board?

SPEAKER_14:

Fall off what type of way?

SPEAKER_11:

Financially. So for example, let's just say you had a man that was taking care of everything, bills, everything. So you only had to do the woman stuff that you had to do, right? Now, hard times fall off, happen, he gambled, whatever happens, lose all the money. Right? How long?

SPEAKER_05:

I heard a year.

SPEAKER_11:

We're gonna come back to it. All right, so we got a year out there. Now, keep in mind this man been holding you down for X amount of years. He just happened to run into this, he just happened to run into this rough spot. So now your time is taken on your side. How long do you have in your time clock to take on his responsibilities that he was taking on for a hard?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, for me, it'll be it'll be how long have you been falling off? Because a lot of people are a lot of people think just falling off at not having money. You can fall off in a lot of ways. I don't think a good man, uh someone would ditch him a good man for just having a fall off. You might have to been falling off in a lot of other areas for me to just ditch you, right? So it depends, like how long you've been falling, fall off in all areas.

SPEAKER_11:

You want me to address it? I don't know. That's your question. No, we're talking about fall off in the aspects of the areas that count. We ain't talking about emotional, we're talking about all the things that build up your dream guy, the guy that you've been in love with. What if you lose all of that today or tomorrow?

SPEAKER_14:

I mean, if you still, I mean, if you're a trying man, I'm not gonna just leave you, but if you just falling off and just sitting there soaking in your no, we still got bills to pay. Okay, it's gone, we gone. The bills on top of it.

SPEAKER_11:

You gotta keep in mind it's been the man that's been holding you down for x amount of years. So now you have a shot clock on him. You see what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03:

I don't think it's a clock, it shouldn't be a clock.

SPEAKER_12:

Okay, you just told me.

SPEAKER_03:

I need six months clock for me. A clock is not three to six months.

SPEAKER_02:

Because if it it don't matter what job you get, as long as you get a job.

SPEAKER_11:

Let's let's go through the whole pattern, right? So you take three to six months. Three to six months. What would you say?

SPEAKER_03:

No time limit.

SPEAKER_09:

What would you say, Jack? What would you say, Chris? For me, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, that was that's in my answer. I don't see me just leaving for you just having a follow up.

SPEAKER_11:

It gotta be some type of time frame for me that you expected him to bounce back within though, before you at least come into the drawing board, like hey, but when you fell in it with a time frame, you already going in the wrong.

SPEAKER_03:

True. I agree, I agree with your answer. Every time that I think about the time you fell in. So if you had a time on it, how I put a time on it, it ain't gonna work right.

SPEAKER_09:

I agree, I agree with your answer, but let's see what you say.

SPEAKER_14:

So, how much you know, when you start a job and they give you a time limit that you're at that job, what is it, 60 to 90 days?

SPEAKER_11:

Yeah, before you get before you reap the benefits, all right. All right, so look. My reason for this question is okay, so most women got it's some type of time clock, even if you don't feel it, the men gonna feel it. You know what I mean? We automatically know, like if at any point in time when you fall off, this is like a uh no, y'all just feel guilty. It's like an hour, it's like an hourglass. If you can't maintain the maintenance of your car, you ain't gonna be able to keep it. It's the same thing for your woman, it's the same thing.

SPEAKER_03:

I think you would feel that way if you don't know your lady, you know, like if you were in a house with your woman and feel like she's about to ditch you.

SPEAKER_11:

No, we all feel distance at times, not that, but what I'm saying is like you see how she had like three 90 days, six months, a year, right? It's been a man that's been leading you, maybe y'all been together for 10 years.

SPEAKER_14:

But you keep adding on years, it don't matter about years. You need to be trying something, right?

SPEAKER_11:

But listen, if you went from if you that's just like financially stable people, a basketball player, a basketball wife, you are going to expect a certain lifestyle, you're not gonna accept just because this guy was a scholar and making this type of money five years, you ain't gonna accept it. One year where he's making five thousand dollars just because he went out and tried. That's so trying is not adequate. You get what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_14:

Like, you gotta feel the trying, I will I will hold it down. But if you ain't trying at all, I don't want you now.

SPEAKER_11:

Wait, I just now listen. I just I disagree because look, I'm not agreeing with you. I disagree.

SPEAKER_02:

A lot of times you don't find out who people your man is until he falls off. Sometimes it's like you I need to know how how strong you are. Are you able to get up and get another job? Are you able to go to McDonald's and work a McDonald's job for at least a week or two until you find another job? Are you able to go and what's another job that don't make a lot a lot of money? Whatever.

SPEAKER_03:

But why everything? Let me cut let me cut.

SPEAKER_12:

Let me let me cut the fat. Wait, let me cut the let me cut the fat off the conversation.

SPEAKER_11:

He said financially, they want to be nice, fellas. You know what I'm saying? They they want to be nice in all actuality. Yes, a trying man is a man that's doing something, but in the dating world, you gotta have some financial stability to date in the market. Of course, of course. If you ain't got nothing, all right, all right, all right, all right. So you agree, right? Right, but you didn't say that. You said you didn't say that, you said hold your man down for years. Okay, so if you always accusate things. So originally the statement was if he's been holding you down for years and y'all gave these time frames, right? The whole purpose of this statement is to show you that you guys say you want equal rights, but it's not, it's never a time who is we wait, wait, wait, let me finish. I don't want to be let me finish, let me finish, let me finish. It's never a time where a man can stop being a man. I'm a woman, I fan. Like, so at all points in times, you're expected to be a man.

SPEAKER_14:

So ain't y'all supposed to leave, right?

SPEAKER_11:

So you following right into suit where I'm going with this. So if a man is supposed to lead, right, and y'all that mean that I'm supposed to do all the man stuff, and whatever we deem as the feminine stuff, y'all supposed to do, right? So if I'm providing these things for you, you should have the same, like Jen said, time frame as me because we're supposed to be partners in crime, right? I invested into you the same way you invested into me. Time, but when it came to my side of the fence, I had to get my shit together right so you can live the lifestyle that you used to live. If you ain't willing to go to the bottom with me, why you gonna go to the top with me? Why do you even deserve that? You get what I'm saying? I get what you're saying. You gotta go through the mud. You gotta that man is on to something. Listen, listen, for one thing, one thing for sure. You see how you it's like you gotta see what your man in bad times. Your man in bad times is not financial strain. Your man in bad times is no, I didn't see that. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I know you did. I know you did. I'm just saying, I'm just speaking to the masses. Your man in bad times is not financial strain. We go through the same things that y'all go through, we just hide it better than y'all do, and we have less outlets to express it.

SPEAKER_02:

Sometimes y'all had it better than us. So let me get I got a question sometimes when when that clip, you gonna hold the woman down? Not all the time.

SPEAKER_14:

You know when y'all get tired of we when we don't do stuff for y'all, y'all say we don't do stuff for y'all, and y'all go out and cheat. For sure.

SPEAKER_10:

For sure. Me and don't cheat. Wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_12:

Me and don't cheat.

SPEAKER_10:

Yeah, y'all some cheaters.

SPEAKER_12:

Say it one more time for the people in the back. Me and don't cheat.

SPEAKER_14:

When it flipped, yeah. If that script flip, yes, and we stop doing our part. Is y'all gonna hold this time?

SPEAKER_11:

Yeah, we still gonna go to the next, yes, because we still expect it to pay the bills, we still expect it to take you on dates, we still expected to do everything that I'm entitled to do as a man. How are you gonna do it? How are you gonna manage multiple women if you're not doing these type of things? You gotta think, man. This like when women be like, Man, you all messing with the hoes. If your man don't got no money, he don't got no holes. So, where does these holes? What is these thing for y'all? Because listen, if you need me and I'm your man and I treat you good and I treat the other women good, why they ain't blowing up my phone? What a hole is that because niggas call me and be like, What a hole is that I be looking for them too. Like comment. I used to ask my girlfriend, like, what holes do you speak of? Ain't nobody calling my phone, don't nobody need me like you.

SPEAKER_03:

Let me comment on your original question because y'all don't got it.

SPEAKER_12:

I'm just saying, you need some money to fuck with the holes.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm just no, I feel like with your original question, Brandon, I don't think it should be a time limit. I think everybody just needs to know their relationship. Yeah, you can't hold somebody down, you made him 90 days ago. I'm just saying for it, you know, so it won't apply to everybody because you know it matters how long you've been in this relationship, how things should work. I can only speak for myself when I'm in a marriage. We I know for a fact, and you gotta know your partner. I know for a fact if my husband was to lose his job and I'm holding us down, we just gonna not necessarily switch roles, he's just gonna pick up a lot of my other duties. Because, like us, you know what I mean? But he's gonna probably be to doing the cooking, like we're not gonna lack in no other area. Y'all gotta do it. He picked up all the extra slack. So speak on a date know your relationship.

SPEAKER_11:

If you were dating, would you still feel that way? If y'all were if y'all were in the dating stage, would you still feel that way?

SPEAKER_03:

In the dating world, yeah.

SPEAKER_11:

No, like drawing that. Like, let's speak to the ladies that's in the dating world. Yeah, six months.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm not gonna do wifely duties as a girlfriend, and I don't expect you to do wifely duties as a as just a boyfriend. But at the end of the day, I expect you to still have a job. I expect for you to still take care of yourself.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't mind helping you, but I'm only gonna help you to a certain extent.

SPEAKER_02:

I can't speak for every woman. I ain't asking my somebody I'm dating to pay my bills. I'm not doing that because I'm gonna pay my own bills. But at the end of the day, you still need to have a job because I ain't getting with no broke men.

SPEAKER_12:

True, I understand that. So, fellas, take notes.

SPEAKER_14:

If you broke, don't date home, don't date. Invest in your children, broke.

SPEAKER_03:

We think broke. That ain't no. I don't want no way, like no money in my pocket. No, no. That nigga might not have somebody might be lying.

SPEAKER_02:

Hey, look, bro, bro say that's too much time.

unknown:

Three, six months, too much time.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, I'll just put it out there.

SPEAKER_05:

All right.

SPEAKER_02:

I gotta give a person a chance to get a job.

SPEAKER_03:

All right, we've you gotta give a person a chance to get a job. We're gonna switch gears a little bit.

SPEAKER_09:

Okay.

unknown:

I'm on it.

SPEAKER_03:

GN. I forgot.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes. We got GN.

SPEAKER_03:

No, we're gonna go on order. Oh, we're gonna trade across the line. Well, go for always boss.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, so um, so my topic is I'm gonna have audience participation as as well as I want to get my castmates their feedback as well.

SPEAKER_03:

So my topic is what do we need to relearn as far as like anything in your life?

SPEAKER_02:

Like, if your parents ever taught you anything. So for me, or like what do you see in society?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, we need to relearn. So I feel like I got a couple of things. I feel like we need to learn how to respect people. I feel like Salina will respect, I feel like we need to learn how to talk to each other.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, I feel like we need to learn how to date, we need to learn how marriage is supposed to go. Stop keeping secrets, parents.

SPEAKER_04:

So that's for me, Brandon. You want to give your feedback?

SPEAKER_11:

I would say we we we need to uh relearn as a society probably how to humble ourselves. No matter how high you climb, it all can change in a matter of seconds. Everything that you done worked your whole life up can end just as soon as you know what I mean. So that's one thing, respecting each other, being together, like you know what I mean? Like, for example, like it's people that be outside penhandling, be at gas stations, you know, we all got our daily struggles in life and stuff like that. But just take for a second and think, like uh a dollar ain't hurt you none. You know what I mean? Even though this person might be out here pen handling, doing whatever they do, if it's on your heart to give it to them, give it to them, because you never know that might make a difference in somebody's life, you know what I'm saying? You never know the impact that your life has on somebody else's. So just knowing how to love ourselves more, then we'll know how to love other people more. So that's what I got.

SPEAKER_03:

Gene. I think as a society we need to learn how to, I mean, not even gonna say a society for myself, learn how to forgive. Holding grudges, making small things, big things, and also learning how to set boundaries and sticking to them. If you set a boundary and stick to it, it's easier to forgive because you know, somebody crossed that boundary, and that's what you set for yourself, and it don't bother you as much because it don't it don't bother you. You let it go, you know. So forgiveness, Crystal. Y'all know I'm never ready. To remember that no one owes you anything. Come on, yeah, it's it's your responsibility to create the life that you imagine for yourself, you know. So stop putting what you want to achieve on other people, get out there and get it. Come on, nobody owes you nothing.

SPEAKER_05:

Come on, Kira.

SPEAKER_14:

Okay, I will say, me personally, and I know a lot of people, it would be showing yourself grace. We tend to be so hard on ourselves about a lot of things, things that fail, things that's not going right. So we be hard on ourselves. So I would say show yourself some grace because we get up every day, even though we don't want to, we have to still make it work. So show yourself grace.

SPEAKER_05:

All right, gotcha.

SPEAKER_13:

I say we gotta relearn how to be ourselves because we I agree, we just we just don't give ourselves enough credit. It's like we always trying to help other people. We worried about this person, worried about that person to the point where we forget about ourselves. So that's what I feel you just gotta be yourself.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, so do anybody else sorry, do anybody else have anything in the audience they want to say what we need to relearn?

SPEAKER_04:

You say duck?

SPEAKER_03:

Rebuild? That's a good one, very good one.

SPEAKER_04:

Rebuild yourself, rebuild okay. All right now. Anybody else?

SPEAKER_05:

Stand bring standards.

SPEAKER_03:

Bring back shame. That was great. Please bring back standards. You in the back? Yeah, stop copying paste it. No, he didn't.

SPEAKER_12:

Say that a little louder.

SPEAKER_03:

Say that a little louder.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, yeah. Grow up. Yep, yep. Anybody else? Young lady in the back with the glasses.

SPEAKER_04:

Come on. Yeah, come on. Yeah. I don't make my kids leave at 18.

SPEAKER_02:

I got one right there. She knows. I said, You ain't gotta leave. I tell my son exactly.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes.

SPEAKER_05:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_04:

My baby's paying we forever.

SPEAKER_05:

Right.

SPEAKER_12:

Come on. Yeah, come on. That's that's what other other races do. Other races do it. Yeah, other races do it. Other races do we have to do it? You gotta protect yours for sure.

SPEAKER_04:

You have your hand up.

SPEAKER_12:

Oh, you got one more in front of you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Come on.

SPEAKER_04:

Come on.

SPEAKER_05:

Come on.

SPEAKER_02:

Come on. That's my auntie right there, y'all. She's fine.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, auntie.

SPEAKER_07:

Yes, I feel that.

unknown:

We ought to show some love.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah. You ought to grow on social media all today and come on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

It does. It does. It does. Just like supporting goes a long way. Support, sharing.

SPEAKER_11:

Networking.

SPEAKER_02:

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_05:

Come on.

SPEAKER_13:

Now that's a good one. You should run for mirror.

SPEAKER_01:

We come out later. We started to get away from the facts.

SPEAKER_03:

Who oh, who was next? Sam, you got one? No, you right here.

SPEAKER_02:

He was next.

SPEAKER_05:

Come on, read the word.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, okay. I know I'm not the Lord.

SPEAKER_04:

I know the Lord. Do y'all know the Lord? Come on.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right. Come on.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes. Our pastor always told us that you read for yourself. Don't ever take somebody else's word for it.

SPEAKER_06:

Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

You go ahead.

SPEAKER_06:

Come on, accountability.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_13:

Yes. Let my man go. You better.

SPEAKER_02:

Who's over here?

SPEAKER_03:

Accountability. Oh, that's a hard young man in the back.

SPEAKER_02:

Come on. Y'all got some good answers.

SPEAKER_04:

We need to have them on the mind.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, we're gonna start. We do need talking back.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01:

Shut up with the man something. So I mean really all of them doesn't come.

SPEAKER_06:

Yes. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. This is what you should have had on your men versus women.

SPEAKER_01:

Y'all do not want to do that.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay. Over here. You had your hand up since here? It definitely is because you're working on this. That's my other daughter, y'all. Come on now. I got some brilliant people in here. Come on, cuz. Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Come on. You're you're taking other people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Come on. Come on, eh.

SPEAKER_05:

Come on, cuz.

SPEAKER_04:

All right, we got one more right here. Oh, you got somebody okay.

SPEAKER_06:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Everything's necessary.

SPEAKER_06:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

I see you got something I wanted versus like what did you want?

SPEAKER_06:

Right.

SPEAKER_04:

Come on now. Y'all are smart. Come on. Go ahead. Oh.

SPEAKER_02:

That's a good one. That's my other auntie, y'all. She's so smart. Come on now.

SPEAKER_04:

Auntie. Auntie came. Auntie. No, they're my real life aunties.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. Y'all aunties too. All right, here. You in here bringing competition. Auntie's gonna have a podcast in a minute. All right, come on, y'all. All right, thank y'all again. Thank y'all. Thank you. Collection plate. That was good. We're gonna have to do that one again. I love that one. All right, Gian. Oh, my topic time. Yes, ma'am. I want To speak on celebrities. I feel like we give them so much power over us. And I don't understand why. Like with social media, even with the podcasts, it's like people seem to respect them and look at them more than they own people. It's like they birthday come, we rushing to tell them happy birthday. We sharing their kids. We doing all of these things, but it's like when it's your own people, you look right past it. I don't understand it. Like, why? True. I don't understand that. I never understood that either. I just don't get it.

SPEAKER_14:

And they really be like, they really be down for them, like the Nicki Minaj fans back. They be behind. They be ready to be chosen.

SPEAKER_10:

No, them Chris Brown fans. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

No, we can't leave our Beyonce fans either. They be crazy. But why do you think that really is? I think that's some deep, something way more deeper behind it. Um, we definitely need to normalize supporting our own people. Yeah. You know, because if I see y'all telling Nicki Minaj, happy birthday, and my birthday, y'all ain't said nothing. I mean that's the problem that I have. It's like when like now we're just now starting off, but then when you become big or you bodies, then everybody wants to be on the bandwagon and be all for it. But when it's at the starting point and you crawling from nothing, nobody wants to be there. Like I don't understand it.

SPEAKER_11:

I think I told you this the other day. Nobody believes until you achieve. Okay, that's true.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and that's place went to the film. They went to the film.

SPEAKER_11:

So, like your to answer your question, like why people think celebrities, because they're looking at them as success successful people that made it to the top of their class. So this is how they should live their life. I don't even follow celebrities.

SPEAKER_03:

When you look at them on the internet, they real ignorant and slow. So come on, you know, that's my word.

SPEAKER_11:

I'm sorry, slow, but but that just shows but people not looking at the intelligence, they looking at the material, yeah. What they the lifestyle, the lifestyle, I think, the jury, yeah, the mind. They don't care about who these people are for real. You know what I mean? Like the music don't the music that the people put out don't even reflect the lifestyle that they actually live. Like, you know what I mean? Why? Telling y'all forget a nigga, all this, but got a nigga at home that love them and take care of their kids. But as soon as they go to the studio, it's fuck your baby daddy. Yeah, and they acting clean. You see what I'm saying? They do everything that y'all don't do to maintain the men, but propagate everything for you to be single. You see what I'm saying? Like none of these women are making songs. Well, maybe some of the RB songs, you know what I'm saying, tell them cater to you and stuff like that. But that ain't really the genre of music that everybody just go into until you clean it up or you in a love-making mood. You see what I'm saying? But everything that you taking in, the social pictures, the bags, the jerk, the hairstyles from the clothes, everything is on somebody popular that you like. And this is how you get your idea of it.

SPEAKER_03:

Tied into what look uh Keila said. We need to relearn how to support one another. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_11:

Normalize supporting your audience. I think that people, I think, in that part of relearning, though, you gotta actually reteach people this shit. Like, I think we done got so programmed to being robots or like what society expects us to be that people don't even know how to genuinely support you no more. Like, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah, it's all about self, so but they don't want you know, nowadays they don't want to support you, they don't want to see you doing better than them. It's just how some people you can support somebody every day, be there at them for every day. You have one important thing you want them to be there. Where are they at? Not here, and then they gonna they're gonna call you afterwards, they're gonna call you afterwards to give an excuse. I don't want to hear that the queen of support here.

SPEAKER_02:

I think we I think it's easy to celebrate celebrities because we constantly see them, especially social media now. Like, first off, I just bought like a hundred damn near two hundred dollar ticket, and then you got a subscription.

SPEAKER_03:

What Instagram does$5.99 million dollars. But they doing but they do it, and you are to watch their videos, right? Yeah, not me though, but yeah, they do, they do.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't look up any celebrities. I got favorite singers like Brandy.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and it's okay to you know, but I don't look up to nobody, them, you know. But again, we need to normalize support your own people, and again, relearn how to love the people around you, right? And you ain't paying attention that now that they are paying on social media, the celebrities took over it. Yes, they got all the followers now, they got all the videos, they doing get ready with me's is like they didn't give y'all anything, and now it's a check involved, but you in a few. This is who you want to follow. This is who you want to, yeah. I don't know. I think that's crazy. It is that over though. I mean, for me, it's weird to scroll past my mama, yeah, and go like brandy. Okay, like I don't know, not too much on brandy. You know, we don't switch gears, but look, I just tell you, we're gonna switch gears, but to note what Gin said, we appreciate y'all. We appreciate y'all. Y'all support. Thank y'all for the support. Thank y'all for supporting us.

SPEAKER_10:

Thank y'all again. Thank y'all again.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank y'all. It's a Saturday afternoon. Y'all could have been at somewhere. E y'all could have been anywhere, but y'all ain't here, so we appreciate that. We thank you. So I'm gonna go ahead and switch gears. It's kind of a two question in a one. Why aren't we getting married? And why aren't we staying married?

SPEAKER_11:

Oh, that's a good start. I said, Oh, starting the audience or another.

SPEAKER_03:

You wanna start with the audience or the panel?

SPEAKER_11:

You wanna start with us?

SPEAKER_03:

We're gonna start here with Dante because he keeps being quiet. Yeah, Dante, you quiet. You throw it in. You are quiet tonight.

SPEAKER_13:

I'm the on the panel. I'm one of the people they all they text me a thousand times.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't ever get we're not about to go deal with the text, they just not just don't pick on it's like y'all pick on me. Go ahead, Jim.

SPEAKER_03:

Make sure you send it back on to her. Why are we getting married and why we not staying married? Well, we ain't getting married because how am I gonna get married if I can't even find a boyfriend?

SPEAKER_12:

Oh, we can go back to the root of that. We can go back to the root of that. Oh, you why y'all ain't finding no boyfriends?

SPEAKER_14:

Why I can't find a boyfriend? Wow, because half of them like men.

SPEAKER_12:

Oh, that's now that's now that's showing your uh half of them don't know. Now you got 50%. She wanna argue. Wait, wait, no. Hold on, Dr. Now now we're about to give her some real some realistic stuff.

SPEAKER_14:

Like, all right, so now that's half for the me and half of them don't know how to leave.

SPEAKER_11:

It can't be half and half, more than like under a girl. Yeah, they can control, they don't want a strong-minded woman. They gotta be a small percentage.

SPEAKER_03:

Now look, yeah, because they can control her. Now now look, now look. Now look, I I think a lot of people giving out more. I mean, what's the reason of what are you holding out that you need to get married? It's like we going into relationships and you giving somebody all you got in the beginning, giving them all your time, all of your energy, all of your everything, your life.

SPEAKER_11:

Let me let me speak about it, let me speak about it. I feel like from that perspective, as me, as a man, and the dating world that I came from, or as in now, I'm the only one losing in the dating market. Like we both spending time.

SPEAKER_05:

Nigga, no, you're not.

SPEAKER_11:

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on, let me break it down. Wait, you break it down, listen, we're gonna break it down for you. We're gonna use critical thinking, right? And we're gonna bring up a Venn diagram, and you're gonna put up all the things on your side, all the things on my side, and everything in the middle, right? So we both spending time, so that goes in the middle. We both having sex, that goes in the middle. So you can't tell me you're giving me your body. So what's the case? No, they go on our side because we damn or do most of the work sometimes. No, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_14:

I'll wait for you to make sense.

SPEAKER_11:

Listen, if you got your vagina is only like top tier when a man is broke.

SPEAKER_10:

Because when he broke, wait, wait, wait, wait no, no, no, it's fire. Don't give me broke, give me out.

SPEAKER_01:

Can't drop the gun. Don't get drop the gun. Listen.

SPEAKER_03:

Sometimes it's great. Listen, calm down, calm down.

SPEAKER_11:

Let me let me let me leave. Y'all want me in the lead, right?

SPEAKER_12:

I'm about to show you. Don't tell me it's stupid. It's uh if I leave you to the if I leave you to the stuff. Let him explain. Let him explain. Yeah, but you ain't got there right now.

SPEAKER_05:

All right, let him leave you. I want to hear. I want to hear them. So listen. I want to hear them.

SPEAKER_11:

Okay, okay, let's hear this. A man that got a lot of money don't got a lot of time, right? So just because your vagina is fire, that don't mean it's top tier. That should is another priority. That ain't no top priority for a man that's owning. So your love and your body and all of these things that you feel like you give to a man.

SPEAKER_10:

Wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_11:

Listen, listen. Like, look, when I get up in the morning, bro, when I get up in the morning, the first thing I'm thinking about is getting some money. I might get high getting some listening and all that, but love is further on the list. Like, I could go through my life.

SPEAKER_00:

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_11:

Then what are you looking for? I'm not saying that I'm being single. No, no, no, I'm not saying that. I'm not telling you that I'm not looking for these things, I'm just telling you that you're saying that the love, your body is something that's not in the middle of this diagram, right? Because you said that this is gonna go on your side. So the reason that I'm fighting is it shouldn't. I mean, take it both people, both parties giving up their body. Yeah, the man is leading with his finance, right? Because most times when a man is doing his leadership roles, he's taking you out on dates, he's doing all the masculine shit. This shit costs.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm supposed to be happy with that.

SPEAKER_11:

No, I'm not telling you that. Okay, but if we're doing it tip for tat, I agree with you. I agree with you on the partnership idealistic. But when we're looking at the dating thing, man, when you looking at it, regardless. So because you spend the money, I'm supposed to feel special. No, it's sounding like you might never get out of here. Regardless of how y'all individually feel in the dating world, this is what we have to fight against. It's women out here that don't think like they all. Just because y'all got emotional intelligence in this room, right here, man. It's a lot of women out here that we deal with on a day-to-day basis that you would look at and not even call their phone again because the ignorant shit they say out their mouth. So you can't think that everybody's blessed with the intelligence y'all got. So let me speak for one second. So the man that's got this priority of going to get the money and shit like that, laying up with you, and that shit's gonna come at the end of the day. That's just not priority for me. My priority for me is to be able to provide and be a man to fulfill all the deeds that I'm supposed to be able to do so you can be a woman in your full entirety. So if I'm laying up with you all the time and doing all that shit, how the hell am I gonna do that shit? I don't got no, I don't day trade. I go out in the street and make money with my hands. So I have to be active in the world. So how can I be active with you as much? So that ain't a fair exchange.

SPEAKER_14:

So basically, you ain't never have no thought in your head about marriage.

SPEAKER_11:

No, it's not that I ain't never had a thought about my head about marriage. I don't have a problem with marriage, but the reason we not getting married is because a lot of times we're jumping into situations and neither party is stable, neither party has a plan, neither party is disciplined enough to stick to the plan. You gotta realize in a partnership, somebody's gonna work the finance and somebody gonna do the hard work. So if you're gonna do the hard work, I mean, if you're gonna do the finance and I'm gonna go do the hard work, then I'm gonna lead on all the aspects I wanna lead in, and you're gonna lead in the backfield.

SPEAKER_14:

Okay, so if you get in a you're talking to a female, then that female tells you I'm dating for marriage. Okay, what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_11:

Right. That's fine if I'm in that if I'm in at this point in time now, that's fine. Because I'm old enough, I'm mature enough. But if she would have told me this three or four years, maybe five or six years ago, no, I was still finding myself. I was still finding financial stability, I was still learning my reach, you know what I'm saying? Seeing what I like about myself, like you said, you gotta take time to learn yourself. We rushed into life. I had to get into life at 18, 14, taking care of myself. So, you get what I'm saying? So, you can't take that anything. No, you need to have some way that your partner can lean on you for leadership.

SPEAKER_14:

You can't depend on money for everything.

SPEAKER_11:

No, but you gotta have something, some survival instinct.

SPEAKER_14:

Why even date a woman if you keep saying about this money?

SPEAKER_11:

I ain't say money, she just asked money. I said, No, but you gotta have some survival instinct to lead a family in order to marry to be married. Because how, like, if we was out in the wilderness again, I would be able to hunt, I would be the went out and did things with my hands because I learned as a man versus sitting up in the house with you, loving you. I learned how to feed us, I learned how to kill, I learned how to do the things that you don't have to do, so you can be a woman. That's all I'm saying. Most of us, most of us, most of us not spending time doing that. I'm pretty sure I could tell by the way we dress, we all dressed in here nice tonight. We all take good care of ourselves, but I'm pretty sure all of us got somebody in our call log or homeboy that could be like, damn, bro, you could be doing more, or you ain't doing this for your kid, bro. It's all of these type of things that we not taking the time to better ourselves as men or as individual people to come together to even be a unit. How can you even be a unit when you ain't even what you have for yourself?

SPEAKER_02:

I just feel like it still should be like what he said in the match, huh? Like, we need to have standards, it still need to have standards, you know. You have to have standards and boundaries.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, I just think first thing you gotta have. I do think while we oh what you got something to say? Oh, you got something to say?

SPEAKER_13:

I think I'm no, I just feel like he's saying everything about the money part. The money can be here today and gone and gone tomorrow, yeah, exactly. But a good parlay lasts forever.

SPEAKER_03:

Very tired, but anyway, while we aren't getting married, I really just feel like time has changed. Um wow, not I don't everybody's not looking for marriage no more. There's a lot of why would they look for marriage though? That's what I mean. You're getting everything without the marriage. No, but we can't get married. See, and that's that's a big problem. That's not what I'm saying. I'm talking about just that's sad. But I'm saying you people think so much into getting married. People don't think so much into having a baby that you have to deal with for 18 years.

SPEAKER_11:

I mean, think in society, they don't even they don't even show us happy families like that, bro. Like, if you look at TV and shit like that, like power, all of these black shows, bro, it's very rare. What did I tell you? A black happy family, like how you see the Cosby's family matters, like it's there, but it's buried. You see what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03:

So it's not there for us. That's why we're not getting married, it's not set, it's not taught, it's not but you know what's not what's pushed anymore. Back in the day, that's what you was taught. You have a baby, you get married. That's what comes along with now. It's you can have a baby at the baby shower alone. So it's just that's why there's no morals, there's no principles. You know, when we were coming up, you you was taught get married, then have a baby. Grandma's that's what I'm saying. Times have changed, everybody is not looking for the same thing anymore. There's a lot of people who are okay with being single, and there's more stability in that than being in a relationship. A lot of people look at relationships, marriages as a second job now. They pretend so they just don't want to, but time has changed too, though. A lot of people are more willingly to look for their happiness and focus on their happiness than somebody else. You gotta think about it. That's why I said why we another question was why aren't we staying married? Because a lot of people were staying married for money for the kids, and a lot of people are not doing that no more. We're not doing that no more, so that's why we're not staying married. You're unhappy, you're getting up out of it. You know what I mean? We're not staying around for the kids no more. Time stability, all of that. Yeah, we're not staying in marriages just to be staying in marriages. Y'all want this cute book and this beautiful wedding, it's a lot of work in a marriage. But we're not fighting for anything anymore, we're giving up so easily. We walk in the way so fast, so that's the reason why people not stay in marriage. But that's because they want to work on everything is no, we look at everything to be perfect when nothing is perfect, but that's why I said you got to do the work on yourself. You cannot get into a marriage and you are not okay with you because y'all ain't gonna do nothing but create toxic chaos. If you not have not done the work on yourself first, before you get into this relationship with this person who has also done work on themselves first, it's just not gonna work. You're gonna have toxic, annoying auto practice. If you do the work on yourself, I've done the work on myself. I know me and my my like on my marriage, we are never ever perfect, right? But we're doing the work because life is, and I encourage people to get married because to have a partner is so worthwhile. If it's a partner, not somebody you just land with. You want that partner to fight with you because like it's hard as hell. We need somebody on your side, not you.

SPEAKER_11:

That's but that's what I was saying. Like, we we we're not taking the time to hold on, sorry, hold on. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04:

Somebody got a question.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, they have realized that when you children are dogs are a little bit conditional, and men are little better than the conditional. That's a fact. That's a fact. That's a hundred.

SPEAKER_10:

That's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_09:

We became uh aware of our son.

SPEAKER_05:

Right.

SPEAKER_04:

Strong arm a hundred emotions. Strong arm a hundred emotions. We got another question. Answer. Okay. Oh, come on.

SPEAKER_03:

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_07:

And instead of us up to you, example. Okay, my fiance has endometriosis, she got diagnosed, she's been out of work for three months. She's gonna be out of work for at least four more months. I'm not thinking, at least, I'm not thinking how much time am I gonna give? I am thinking what I gotta do to take care of it. That's my own, come on.

SPEAKER_05:

Come on. Yeah, yeah. And that's exactly and too, you gotta do somebody in life. Yeah, that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_03:

Do the work because marriage is not fun, it's not no game, it's not something that you should ever take lightly. I feel like do the work on yourself. Yeah, you know, everybody needs to do the work. Because if you do the work on yourself, you're gonna know. You end it sustaining as you know, you're gonna ain't no shot clock, time clock. Ain't gonna be none of that. So if you do the work before you get into marriage, you'll be successful. So no six months, Kira. There we go.

SPEAKER_02:

In a marriage, yes.

SPEAKER_03:

We gonna go ahead and switch gears because we already figured out why people, you know, get up out of these marriages.

SPEAKER_14:

Okay, uh, so y'all know today it's so much men versus women. You know, every time you talk to a man or you try to somebody talk to a man, you be like, Well, he ain't got enough money. And he'd be like, Well, you always want something. You know, we want we want some cash, y'all want some ass. You know, it's like it's always something. I want to know why are we against each other?

SPEAKER_11:

Y'all say we money hungry because I think the the world done became so fucked up and people be so in need, like this. These type of things have been always around, though. You know what I'm saying? They was just taboo.

SPEAKER_14:

You said what?

SPEAKER_11:

Like these type of things always been around, like cash.

SPEAKER_14:

Oh, it's really bad now.

SPEAKER_11:

Like, yeah, I know, but they be they became acceptive of it. Like it used to be shunned to be a hoe. Now they got whole walks. Come on, see what I'm saying? You ain't laughing. It used to be like for real, like this shit used to be shunned. You you man, they don't you don't want to be no floozy, you don't want to be no Jezebel, you all of these things. Now you cry for learning. Now, when your homegirl talks to you, she addressed you like this. So, when people talk to you like this, how could you expect any different? Like, you want people not even holding you to the respect. I mean, you're not even holding yourself to the respect of what you want to be garnered towards you. You see what I'm saying? So, these things it's hard to even the society norm just changed all of this, that's changed all the standards. Like back in the day, like at like 12 o'clock or one o'clock, the TV used to make static, and you don't know what the fuck is going on. I remember, I remember HBO used to have little fuzzy channels and shit when I was a little kid. You know what I'm saying? It ain't that no more. Now you go straight to HBO, your kid go straight to it go straight to their phone. You see what I'm saying? Like it's act the access to these things just became so accessible that it changed society. That's what I think.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't know, Pierre. I think it's very weird that I think it's very weird that it's the even a man versus woman error, you know.

SPEAKER_14:

Then we all supposed to need each other, we was made for each other, so I know, but I don't know about they don't like us for me, they just I don't know social media, yeah.

SPEAKER_11:

That's what see like it's weird.

SPEAKER_09:

Social media changed a lot, yeah.

SPEAKER_11:

Social media changed they propagate negative stuff, so like you never see when the man taking a girl out or taking a son out. You only see when we talking and bashing each other because this is stuff that's going viral, you know what I'm saying? Like stuff not, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But then it made it women are speaking up for ourselves. We speaking up you heard what I just told you. Yeah, uh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Women are not slow anymore. Okay, we're not slow anymore. Yeah, back in the day, it was a lot of slow women. I'm just saying, we we not that anymore.

SPEAKER_14:

We definitely go speak up now, you know. We ain't letting men have six wives and well.

SPEAKER_13:

No, listen, we don't have the date no more because you got this, you gotta take her out a thousand times. This lady got it right here for 40. What you gonna do? Financial, you ain't gonna do you ain't gotta do no workable. No workable.

SPEAKER_02:

Thousand days are you thinking?

SPEAKER_13:

Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_01:

Thousand days, thousand dates, one day.

SPEAKER_03:

It's the reason behind that, dog. You good what you pay for. You good that's my custom. That's my custom.

SPEAKER_13:

No, it won't.

SPEAKER_10:

You know, you know, the guys like the 40 bar. You get what you pay for. That is true.

SPEAKER_03:

Come on. You get what you pay for. A$40 woman and a thousand dollar woman is two different types of different types of things. So it depends on what you're looking for.

SPEAKER_12:

Good time.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, well, then you got a$40 home. Now look. I mean, hey.

SPEAKER_12:

Now you still got to say, but what do you what do y'all think, audience?

SPEAKER_14:

What why do y'all think the man's is I think you why are we looking for a good time? She asked. Man, like what? Man, like man, I swear, I think that's the only thing I that's that's that's my answer to everything.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't even think it's that they don't like us. They don't like us. They do not like us. Like women. Why y'all think of that? I think we say we we put things in our head that men don't put in their head. That's just like if we get ready to go to the club. Women go to the club looking for their husband. A man goes to the club looking for a home. It's two different things. We go to the club thinking that we're gonna find somebody to answer all of our prayers. They go to the club looking for somebody that just take home tonight.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

You might be the one, but you gotta get to know that person to even figure that out. So it's like, what are you looking for when you go out dating? You gotta know what you want, but you don't gotta figure it out if it's$40 involved. Everything is about money, that's what's wrong with the world now.

SPEAKER_12:

Money, money, that I told you the world's so fucked up.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and feel the time.

SPEAKER_13:

It depends on what time it is.

SPEAKER_03:

Hello, we're not lying, and that's what women don't realize. Yeah, we looking for something that they not looking for. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_11:

See, and look, this is something this is something that I said. Love is farther down on our list. I told you.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't think no man will. Hold on, hold on, hold on, tonight.

SPEAKER_11:

Let me get her.

SPEAKER_13:

Let me get her.

SPEAKER_01:

What you say?

unknown:

Oh.

SPEAKER_01:

I might. She's gonna stay with you and defend it. It depends on how good you are. And I might.

SPEAKER_02:

At all. Come on. At all. And my auntie said that. And they won't be.

SPEAKER_05:

You're gonna leave us out of the way.

SPEAKER_13:

I'm gonna dress you hold on.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm coming for you. You think you can need something? I'm coming for you. Now we gotta say something.

SPEAKER_13:

Tell me. Uh-huh.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Everything that happens does not happen by that.

SPEAKER_07:

She is not making materials.

SPEAKER_13:

Let me tell you something. Is you ready? That's your husband next to you.

SPEAKER_01:

Listen.

SPEAKER_13:

Listen. The panel wanna give me, now y'all want to give me.

SPEAKER_03:

All right, we're gonna we're gonna switch this over to Dante.

SPEAKER_13:

Oh, it's on me. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Let's see if you remember his.

SPEAKER_13:

My question was what are some things we need to work on within ourselves?

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. He didn't remember.

SPEAKER_13:

Yeah, you.

SPEAKER_05:

I want you to go.

SPEAKER_13:

What are some things we need to work on within ourselves? Okay.

SPEAKER_07:

But you know what you said.

SPEAKER_13:

But you know who we'll love me more? Woo! Talk to me. And I'ma have fifty next time.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, preach. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, a good time. A good time.

SPEAKER_14:

But um I'ma I'ma say we're gonna go down the line. I'ma say healing. Healing. A lot of people are afraid to heal, which means being by yourself. Don't nobody want to heal. You know why? It hurts. It hurts. That loneliness, it scares you. Them thoughts in your head, you don't want all that toxic, so heal.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, okay. Something we need to work on within ourselves, I would say, is learning to let go. Yes, it's a part of the journey, you know. We may have to release a friend or two, a partner, a kid. There's some people who have to release their kids, you know, um, a job. So learn, yes, and it's hard, but you have to learn to be okay with it. So learning to Let go because I'm the string of holding on to all of them. Yes. Learn to let go. Jen, I thought I already said that. She took your answer. She took your answer.

SPEAKER_13:

Took your answer.

SPEAKER_03:

No, I no, I did. I said forgive. Oh, she's like, Oh, you forgive. Yes. It's a big one for me. I am I'm a grudge holder. I'm working on that. It's bad, it's very bad, but I feel like you know, sometimes you give so much of yourself to people and you expect so much in return. So it's like learning how to not expect myself from other people. It's what teaching me to forgive.

SPEAKER_14:

And don't stop being, don't stop doing what you're doing.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it keeps you hurt though. Like expecting you from people and never receiving that. It keeps you in a bad taste. So to me, for myself, it's like I have to learn that I'm gonna be me and they're gonna be them. And I gotta accept people for who they are, yeah, and forgive them and move on. And sometimes learning, that's all some people that's all they can give in that moment. I'm learning that that they don't have anything to give you. So it's like we don't know when nobody's at in that space. Giving people grace. Let's just learn that forgive. Go ahead. My sorry, Miss King. I'm learning to forgive.

SPEAKER_14:

Forgive too.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm learning to forgive. That's been something I've been working on for a while now, but really in this last year after my divorce is been hard because I lost friends, I lost, yeah, I lost a lot of people, even a parent.

SPEAKER_03:

So forgiveness is something that I've really been working on, and how I've been working through that is being in my word.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, that's the only thing, and the only person that can show me how to forgive is my Lord and Savior. And and that's just giving them grace, you know.

SPEAKER_03:

On top of it, I'm I've been noticed, like even like we're learning with forgiveness is that you do have to give people grace because nobody is perfect.

SPEAKER_04:

We all don't get it right, we all don't get it right. So forgiveness is for me.

SPEAKER_11:

I be like, I can relate to all of these topics that uh everybody just spoke on. I done had to work on every one of these individually. I done lost parents in the last three years, I done had to go through loss of jobs, expectations. You got false expectations of people. I learned that uh you don't put your faith in men, you put your faith in God. I stopped praying, all of that. Man, I done been through every obstacle that you could think of. Tried to go through it and just thug it out and be strong about it till it broke me down, you know what I'm saying? That's why I'm telling you, like, men don't have avenues or venues where they can speak about things like this. You don't know the day-to-day struggle that your man goes through just because he's in the same 24 hours as you. You know what I'm saying? It's his job to hold it in. You don't, you probably not gonna see him cry, you're not gonna see him pray. But no, he need it. You know what I'm saying? So I would say the thing that I had to work on the most in that time was learning how to be by myself, how to enjoy the time that you spend with yourself. Like, you sometimes you don't even know what you actually like because you're gonna spend so much time around other people and your and their habits. Like somebody told me one day, like, uh man, you need to go down to the water and just go sit down. I'm like, why the hell would I go do that and think about what all the bad shit that's been going on? Like, shit, let's keep this shit moving. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, man, and that's just the type of person I am. But when they told me that, I didn't do that, you know what I'm saying? I found other outlets, but it showed me that you do have to take some time for yourself. You give, like we all say, you give so much to the world, you give a lot to your job, you give everything to your kids, you give everything to your mate. But if you go back to the end of the day and you go back to the drawing board and you look at all the you got 100% of energy. If you look at the drawing board and you gave out 90, 100% of that energy, and you come back and none of that was making you happy, then you failed. Because how can you give everything to the world but never pour into yourself? So you gotta take time, you gotta take time to lose.

SPEAKER_03:

Come on, come on. That's a word. All right, well, now that we're getting ready to close, I really, really, really just don't say I am uh just in a little bit of close. I am very proud of myself for following through creating session 35. Well, I just want to thank Kira and Jen. Y'all been on this roll with me from the very start. I appreciate y'all. I love y'all. So, so so much. So, so so much. And then I want to thank Dante, Hila, and Brandon for hopping on this journey. They believed in whatever I was talking about, so they was ready with me. I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_04:

Always believe in you, girl. Y'all appreciate y'all got something to say, T T.

SPEAKER_14:

Y'all got something to say.

SPEAKER_13:

Do I got anything to say?

SPEAKER_14:

I just want to thank y'all. Sorry, you weren't ready. I just I just want to thank you, Crystal, for having us on this journey. You know, this was a long journey. We started in the kitchen, y'all. So I'm gonna give y'all flowers. These are my girls. Um we started this journey in the kitchen with us some food. Crystal, she can cook, y'all. She ain't cooked here. We just want to thank you for putting she can cook, y'all. Trying her chicken spinach dip, she can, but we just want to thank you. We love you so much. She be trying to do everything by herself by herself, and we hate it, but we just thank you for this journey.

unknown:

Thank y'all.

SPEAKER_11:

Oh, Crystal, thank you. We appreciate you.

SPEAKER_03:

All right, so uh yeah, y'all. Thank y'all for watching. Oh, you got something.

SPEAKER_13:

Yeah, I just want to say thanks, Crystal, for giving me the opportunity to take this journey with you. I mean, I know I don't get text messages, but yes, it's like they have text a thousand times. I don't get it. Then when that one text message, when that sir comes across the screen, I gotta be like, damn, here she goes. So I gotta get I just want to say I'm I'm glad to be a part of what's going on. All right.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, I just want to say thanks for thinking of me, girl. I always, always, always, always believed in you from the first day I met you. Like, like just everything. When she first told me, girl, I got a women's empowerment thing. I want you to do like you remember that I want you to come on with me. I said whatever you need there, like always been down with her.

SPEAKER_02:

I love you. Thank you for thinking of me, and I'm happy to be a part.

SPEAKER_11:

I want to say thank you to everybody who part of the podcast. I'm glad to be a part of a panel of talented, well-educated people that I've grown up with, grown to know y'all some beautiful ladies that's doing beautiful things in the world. Y'all speak life into people. Like, you know what I'm saying? There's people out here that's listening to everything that we say and the energy that y'all bring to the podcast every night, every time that we podcast Wednesday. I love that. Crystal, I appreciate you bringing me on. I started off as a guest appearance, you know what I'm saying? But I knew that your energy, your heart was in the right place. The words you speak, I think that you believe them, so it made me believe. It's been time I done lost faith, like you know what I'm saying. But I stuck and thugged it out with you just because I believe, and I just wanted to thank everybody for um letting me be a part of the podcast.

SPEAKER_13:

Amen. And look, and then another thing I always wanted to do, like y'all know when somebody speaks, and then you hear that one clap all the way in the back. Like, I always wanted that.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_13:

No, you gotta go slow. We thought it's slow, I'm gonna move. Yeah, and then everybody else start. That's what I always wanted. Yeah, I wanted to.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, thank y'all for being here with us tonight. One of many, many more. When we get ready to put it together, I expect for all of y'all to be here again, front and center. We're giving y'all free VIP next time. Yeah, that don't mean no how to pay a ticket, it just means that it's gonna be a front. But I appreciate y'all, love y'all. And if y'all have not already taken all those banana puddings, strawberry, shortcase, and caramel apple pies and puddies, please take them. You don't even have to pay the full price, give a half, give a dollar, what you gonna give? But I can't take that stuff off. So and please make sure y'all follow us on all platforms on Wednesday.

SPEAKER_14:

Oh, yeah, shout out to social media.

SPEAKER_13:

I'm gonna do you and you.

SPEAKER_03:

Have a good night, y'all.